Treating Your Husband According to Scripture: A Biblical Perspective on Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful covenant established by God to reflect His love and unity, and the Bible offers profound wisdom for both husbands and wives on how to treat one another. Just as husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially, wives are called to honor, respect, and support their husbands in a way that reflects Christ’s relationship with the church. This sacred bond is built on love, mutual submission, and a deep reverence for God’s design.

Respecting Your Husband

One of the primary biblical principles for wives is found in Ephesians 5:33:

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Respect is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. For husbands, feeling respected is often synonymous with feeling loved. This means showing appreciation for his efforts, trusting his decisions, and honoring him in both private and public settings. The Bible calls for wives to show this respect not based on the husband’s perfection but as a reflection of obedience to God. Even in challenging moments, showing respect to your husband fosters an environment of love, unity, and trust.

Respecting your husband also means refraining from speaking negatively about him to others and being mindful of how your words and actions impact him. As Proverbs 31:12 says about the virtuous wife, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” A respectful attitude builds your husband up and encourages him to be the best version of himself, just as God intended.

Submission with Love and Trust

One of the most widely discussed and sometimes misunderstood biblical principles regarding wives is submission. Ephesians 5:22-24 says:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. As the church submits to Christ, wives should also submit to their husbands in everything.”

It’s important to understand that biblical submission is not about being inferior or subordinate but about willingly yielding in love and trust, just as the church submits to Christ. In a godly marriage, submission is part of the harmonious partnership where both husband and wife seek to honor God’s will. It’s a way of supporting your husband’s leadership role in the home while still maintaining your own voice, opinions, and identity.

Submission is ultimately about trust—trusting God’s design for marriage and trusting your husband to lead with love and integrity. When both spouses live out their God-given roles, it creates a balance of mutual respect, care, and responsibility. It’s crucial to remember that submission is not a license for control or oppression but an expression of love and reverence for both God and your husband.

Encouraging and Supporting Your Husband

Wives play a vital role in supporting their husbands in practical ways, emotionally, and spiritually. Proverbs 31:11-12 paints a picture of a wife who brings strength and encouragement to her husband:

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.”

A husband thrives when he knows his wife believes in him and stands by him. Encouragement can come in many forms—through kind words, prayers, or acts of service. By uplifting your husband in moments of weakness and celebrating his successes, you become his strongest ally. Your belief in him can give him the confidence to lead, make decisions, and persevere through difficult times.

Supporting your husband spiritually is another critical aspect of marriage. Praying for him, reading the Bible together, and fostering an environment of faith within the home strengthens your relationship with each other and your shared walk with God. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

Loving with Kindness and Grace

The Bible’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 applies to both husbands and wives:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

This passage challenges us to love our spouses with a heart full of patience, kindness, and forgiveness. Marriage requires grace—grace for mistakes, miscommunications, and moments of frustration. Loving your husband, according to this scripture, means choosing to extend compassion and understanding, even when things aren’t perfect.

In practical terms, loving your husband with kindness can involve small daily gestures—a warm greeting at the end of the day, a thoughtful note, or simply listening when he needs to talk. These acts of love communicate your commitment to him and demonstrate the selfless nature of biblical love.

Submitting to One Another in Love

While wives are called to submit to their husbands, the Bible also emphasizes mutual submission within marriage. Ephesians 5:21 says:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This mutual submission reflects a partnership where both husband and wife prioritize each other’s needs, desires, and well-being. It’s about serving one another in love, just as Christ serves the church. By practicing mutual submission, you create a marriage built on teamwork, where both partners are willing to compromise, listen, and put each other first.

Mutual submission fosters an atmosphere of unity and shared responsibility, allowing both spouses to thrive in their God-given roles without feeling diminished or overlooked. It encourages open communication, mutual respect, and the pursuit of God’s will for your marriage.

Being a Helpmeet

In Genesis 2:18, God says:

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The term “helper” does not suggest inferiority but partnership. Wives are designed to complement their husbands, offering strengths, insights, and abilities that enrich the marriage. Being a helpmeet means coming alongside your husband in unity and purpose, working together to fulfill God’s plan for your family.

In practice, this can mean helping with household responsibilities, offering advice when he’s making decisions, or simply being a listening ear. As his helper, you are a vital part of his success and well-being.

Treating your husband according to the Bible is about embracing love, respect, and partnership as God intended. You create a marriage that reflects God's heart by showing respect, supporting him in his leadership, encouraging him with kind words, and practicing mutual submission. These principles strengthen your relationship and bring glory to God through your love for one another. As you live out these biblical teachings, you honor God and build a strong foundation for a marriage that will thrive.